I love sex. Most people do. But I love wild sex. Four years ago, I met someone who was really shy and very sweet. I thought she was going to one I would have to marry before I was allowed to kiss her on the cheek. But, one night, we went out on a night of dancing and drinking. And she opened up to me. This was not a week after we started dating but almost three months (I am not actually in a hurry when it comes to relationships, thanks to my ex-wife). We expressed feelings for each other and things went down from there.

Let’s just say; her tastes leaned to the exotic. She tied my ass up and, basically, abused me. I didn’t mind. When she was done, it was my turn. She didn’t mind. It was good.

A year later, I had learned a lot. I am now far more open than I was and far more skilled. It has been a benefit with all my relationships (I wish I knew at age twenty what I know at forty-five).

It has been four years since this person (we broke up because of logistics). But I carried a lot from this relationship. And I am not shy about what I like. And, surprisingly, many like what I like. I am going to show you a basic way of tying your partner. You may do it for sex (as my ex-girlfriend and I did it) or you may do it for fun (as my current girlfriend and I are doing). Either way, it is a wonderful hobby to share with your mate. But first…

…Safety First

When using rope (OK, it is BDSM. Let’s call it what it is) it is important to make sure everyone is on the same page and safe. Make sure things are consensual. Be in control. When You do something, ask if things are good. DO NOT LOSE CONTROL. If you have to, come up with a safe word (it is even recommended to enter into a written contract if there is going to be serious BDSM). I like tying up my partner and being tied. But it is for fun. It is not rough. If you are going to go in the direction of rough sex, come up with a system. Surprisingly, there is a ton of information on the Internet.

Next, have a pair of surgical scissors available. I had a bad experience with zip ties once (I got carried away). But I had scissors so the mood was not broken. Rope, no matter how soft, can be tied to tight and too hard to untie. It’s also cheap, so be prepared to cut.

Next, lets…

…Talk Shop

Some things to know. The rope should be something soft and flexible. I use cotton rope. It is soft and will stretch but strong enough to leave marks (a mark of success) and hold someone still. Jute, silk and hemp are other rope types that can be used. Find something comfortable, especially in the beginning. Get into the hard core stuff later. The length can be anywhere from 10 to 30 feet. It just depends on what you are tying up (wrists or waist?).

Next there are some terms to know about. The “column” is anything that is being tied. That can be wrists, ankles, waist, even neck (I would not try that). When you fold a rope in half, the end with the loop is called the “bight”. The ends of the rope are called…well…the “ends”.

Now…

…Let’s Do it!

First, fold the rope in half. This will create the bight. You will need to make sure you have enough rope since you are essentially cutting the length in half.

Next, lay the rope over the limb (the column). You will only use one limb (I used my ankle). If you want to tie both limbs (like  hands)  you will need to do a Two Column Tie. I will show you that depending on the response to this article.

Then, wrap the rope around the column three times. You will see six strands wrapped around the limb. Keep each strand straight. It is more comfortable and looks better. It is also stronger.

Now cross the bight and the ends. They should be pointing in opposite directions.

Now, take the bight and slide it under the ropes wrapped around the column. Slide your finger between the column and the rope to make it easier to bring the bight through. This also verifies the rope is loose enough to be comfortable and keeps the rope straight and neat.

Now, tie the bight and the ends into a square knot. You can tie a second one if you so desire.

To tie the rope to something (like a bedpost) simply wrap the loose ends of the rope (the longest portion) around the post. Pull the rope ends through the bight and tie a square knot.

That’s it! That is the basic One Column Tie. Please reply with comments. Again, if the reception is good, I will post how to do a Two Column Tie.

 

Pictures courtesy of:
serenasilvi.deviantart.com
pixdaus.com
catalog.carefusion.com

References:
Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macrame by Lee Harrington