It’s Thanksgiving. A day I thought would be really tough since it is the first Thanksgiving since Joe. Died. Heck, I think the entire holiday season is going to be rough.

Josie, her daughters and I went to Los Angeles to have Thanksgiving dinner with my father. It was really nice. I spoke with my father and asked him how his golfing was going. He just shook his head. He was thinking the same thing I was. He has not recovered yet. He, like I, haven’t gotten through or recovered or been cured or whatever one does when he loses a loved one. Living life “normally”, whatever that means right now, is impossible. I am not sure it will ever be possible again. All we can do is move on, deal with it the best we can and survive.

Today, I did not go through the feeling I thought I would. I did not cry or wallow in memories (well, I di, sort of). I was contemplative and just remembered the good times. His face was in my mind. I knew my father was on the same page. He started playing home movies that he had made through the years. The one he played was one he made of my 40th birthday. Of course, Joe was a big part of my life just like all my kids. We all watched, laughed and remembered.

I worry about my father. I know he’ll be alright but I just can tell he is suffering.

It was a good night and a happy Thanksgiving. I miss Joe so much.

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