I have been cruising through Twitter this week. There have been a lot of news stories out there. Thousands of women being harassed by Hollywood producers. Thousands of men being harassed by Hollywood actors. Gays the target of bigotry because they cannot join the military. Blacks (not all Blacks are descended from Africa which is why I do not use the term “African American”) facing racism. That is just to name a few things. There seem to be so many victims out there. It just makes me wonder one thing:

What’s wrong with me?

I am not a victim of racism, sexism or bigotry. No actress (or actor) ever grabbed my crotch. I was not offended by any Halloween costumes. Heck, my teachers in high school never even tried to sleep with my. But everyone else seems to be a victim. Can I be the only one? I do not even know what to post on Twitter because I have no one to accuse of anything. What’s the point of posting on Twitter if I can’t be outraged about anything.

Well, that ends today! I have to be a victim of something. I will find it. But what?

I am middle-aged; not too old but not too young.I am balding a bit, but no one says anything about that. I am not too fat and not too thin. That is when this picture was made of me by one of the bigoted bastards (my friend) at work. He actually stuck the picture on my badge and it was a few days before I noticed it. After I stopped laughing, I decided to become really offended (though not enough to tell anyone because I didn’t want him to get into trouble).

But I didn’t feel like a victim yet. I needed to figure out how I should feel so I decided to look it up on the Internet. WebMD came to the rescue.

There are six things I needed to feel to be a true victim:

1. I need to feel powerless.
2. I need to feel like being called short is a catastrophe.
3. I need to think my friend was trying to hurt me on purpose.
4. I need to feel that I alone am being targeted.
5. I need to always feel like a victim and never cope with it.
6. Finally, I must never forget and forgive my friend and even get back at him.

In other works, I need to be a self-centered, over-sensitive, narcissistic, vengeful pussy. Hmm, I can do that!

So follow me on Twitter now! I am going to have interesting things to talk about. Because I have decided to become a victim and I will make sure everyone hears about it!

Follow me on Twitter @RunninFewl

Resources:
https://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/05/6-signs-of-victim-mentality.html

Pictures courtesy of:
hellogiggles.com
blogs.baruch.cuny.edu
odyssy.com
Webmd.com
Jim “the-abuser” Merrit