My girlfriend and I were talking about an issue her and he ex husband were having with her daughters. I won’t go into the issue but it looks like, for the benefit of his daughters, he may have to give up his time on the week days and only take the girls on the weekends. My girlfriend asked if it was really a big deal that he did not have the girls on a week day since they get home from school, eat and then head to bed. That there was very little quality time with the girls so it should not be a big deal. I agreed with her.

But then I thought about it. And I began to reminisce.

During the first few months of my separation, I only had the children half the time. I had them every other weekend and on Mondays and Wednesdays. When I did not have them, I was alone. I never realized how much my kids fulfilled my day until they were not there. And I really looked forward to seeing them. My daughter, Sarah, was the one that I spent most time with. Our days together were really nice, especially on week days.

I would pick Sarah up from school at 3:30. I would walk from my apartment and we would walk back.. It was only a two block walk but she was able to fill me in on her entire day. I heard what she learned, what she did during recess, what homework she had to do  and the socio-political situations she had with her friends.

When we got back to my apartment, Sarah would sit at the kitchen table and do her homework. I would change my clothes and pick up around the apartment. When finished, I would start dinner. That was about the time that she finished her homework.

Sarah liked my cooking. I had a set of recipes that I knew worked for her. Hot dogs in a blanket, pizza, steak, chicken, hamburgers and any type of pasta dish. On some days, I would feel frisky and try something different. I knew she didn’t like some of my new ideas but she would never tell me. I just knew by the look on her face and would not cook that dish again. Though she was too young to help much, I always managed to find something for her to do and, I believe, she thought the meal was better because I let her help.

If I did good, meals were eaten fast and in silence. If I was lucky, Sarah would put her dishes in the sink. But, if her appetite was satiated, I was putting the dishes away.

After dinner, Sarah would take a shower. I would get her pajamas and lay them out on her bed. I always bought her pajamas. I would get ones that I thought would look cute on her. The only thing I had to verify before my purchase would be to make sure there was pink somewhere in the pattern. She had to like the pajamas too.

When she was comfortable, it was “us” time. Most of the time, we would watch a movie or a television show. The only time I would watch reality TV is when I was with her. Shark Week was also a big time for us.. Sometimes we would play a game like Uno, Old Maid or Jenga. I loved playing Jenga. It was not about who won or lost but how high we could get the tower.

At about ten o’clock, it was time for bed. Sarah was always a good sleeper and I rarely struggled to get her to bed. She would be out in minutes.

I lied to my girlfriend. Those week nights with my daughter were special, even if they were routine. I was able to spend some quality time with her. That made those nights very special. And I miss them.

Photos courtesy of:
www.scaryforkids.com
www.thetimes.co.uk
boardgamegeek.com
www.bbc.co.uk